It’s absolutely fine to be upset when a short relationship ends
(Originally published on The Pool).
We live in an age of growing efficiency. As technology continues to quicken our access to just about everything, including sexual and emotional gratification, words like “patience” and “slow” are increasingly rendered obsolete.
And, yet, when it comes to dating, we’re told to “take things slowly”, to “keep our options open”, to “wait”, to “chill out”. By the same token, we’re taught that the emotional value of a relationship is relative to its duration.
I’m sure you’ve all been there. A friend meets someone, gets wrapped up in a whirlwind romance that seems ill-fated from the start and, after a month or so, you’re there on the doorstep with a box of Kleenex and a bottle of pinot. When discussing the events with your other mates, at a later date, someone will pipe up and say, “It was only a month — why are they making such a big deal about it?” or, “Why are they so upset? They barely even knew them.”
Now, there’s a lot to unpick here, not least the labelling of emotions as “wrong” or “incorrect”. But, for the purposes of this rant, I’ll stick to the following: your emotional attachment to someone doesn’t necessarily relate directly to the longevity of your partnership.
